IC INBOX AND MAILBOX FOR thissavrou

[onlytwoexpressions]

Hello. You have reached the personal comm of Ultra Magnus, Former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord. Second-in-Command of the Lost Light. I am unable to receive your communication at the moment, but if you could leave a detailed message, clearly stating your name, purpose of call, the exact date and time, and a method of which I can contact you, I will return your communication as soon as I am personally able.

If this is an urgent matter, please state BEFORE you state your name the nature and urgency of your situation on a scale of one to ten; One being a minor emergency, ten being the rough equivalent of a necrotitan resurfacing and wreaking havoc on--

BEEP

Functions:

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Comments

[knaval]

Don't deflect! Do you want it or not! He might not ever come out that tube and we both know that armour of yours isn't warm at night!

[riptide that--]

[onlytwoexpressions]

He will come out of that tube! And you know nothing of my armor!

And neither does he! My armor is my own! No one gets in it without my permission!!

[HE'S SO FLUSTERED RIGHT NOW, RIPTIDE!!!]

[knaval]

[THAT ONLY ENCOURAGES HIM, YOU FOOL.]

Really? Okay, I believe you. [WINK] How do you think he's gonna come out?

[riptide stands up on the slab, holding out the pillow and imitating megatron's voice. pretty well, actually.]

Ultra Magnus... Mininus Ambus... I am finally free after ten thousand years! And my ass is so cold! I need your hands... on my ass!

[onlytwoexpressions]

Give! Me! That!

[Magnus swiftly grabs the pillow away from Riptide and holds it at arms length like it's a fission bomb about to go off.]

Megatron would never say something so incredibly vulgar! His command of the language impeccable and he would never make such an outlandish...lewd request! And I'll have you know that impersonating a superior officer is a very grave crime!

I am going to confiscate this...this...abomination.

[knaval]

...My... prosterior... has reached an uncomfortable temperature--! Oi!

[he reaches out for all of two seconds, then stops. a grin slowly spreads over his face.]

You didn't say you wouldn't! Do you need a cuddle that badly?

[onlytwoexpressions]

We do not talk about Megatron's posterior on this ship. Or any other for that matter!

I am so...so very...uncomfortable with all of this...! What makes you think that this is something I would...

I would...

Appreciate?!

No. No no no no. I am going to lock this away where no one will ever be able to lay optics on it again.

[knaval]

Lock it inside your armour?

[onlytwoexpressions]

Lock it inside the airlock and jettison it.

[knaval]

Oi! Someone spent a lot of time making this!

[he grabs for it back.]

You're either going to treasure it or I'm giving it to someone else!

[onlytwoexpressions]

Who else could you possibly give it to?

Who else would want it?

...

We could always see if Tarn is interested...

[knaval]

Honestly? I thought you'd take it. If you want to take it without me seeing I'll turn my back.

[onlytwoexpressions]

How in blue blazed would that change anything? When you turned back and saw it missing, the only conclusion you could possibly draw is that I took it.

This is not a locked room mystery. There is literally only one outcome.

[knaval]

Actually, you missed out one variable, detective.


I have so many painkillers inside me right now there's about a 10% chance I'll even remember this conversation.

[onlytwoexpressions]

... ... ...

Very well.

I will take this...gift.

And I will lock it away and neither of us will ever speak of it again.

Riptide, do I make myself crystal clear?

[knaval]

[JUDGING FROM RIPTIDE'S EXPRESSION THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE SEXY PILLOW

DESPITE THE FACT HE'S NODDING.]

[onlytwoexpressions]

...When you smile like that I become very unnerved.

It is unnerving.

I feel like I should be seeing something that's not there.

[knaval]

No, I'm just grinning because this situation is kinda ridiculous, don't you think?

[onlytwoexpressions]

Everything that's happened to me since we initially left Cybertron on this quest has been intensely ridiculous.

[knaval]

Yeah, I think the briefcase thing tops a lot of stupid stuff I've seen.

[he taps his chin.]

I'm gonna check in on you, Mags. I'm gonna be upset if that pillow is destroyed.

[onlytwoexpressions]

You're serious, aren't you.

Fine.

I will keep the pillow safe.

[knaval]

Awesome. I'm going to pass out and possibly have no memory of this entire conversation.

[onlytwoexpressions]

This sounds like the best course of action, yes.

[He turns for the door with the pillow in tow.]

...Thank you for the gift, and for thinking of me, Riptide.

[knaval]

[riptide is already powering down and doing the IV equivalent of mainlining pain killers.]

Yeah, well, you mean a lot to me you big blue dingus.