IC INBOX AND MAILBOX FOR thissavrou

[onlytwoexpressions]

Hello. You have reached the personal comm of Ultra Magnus, Former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord. Second-in-Command of the Lost Light. I am unable to receive your communication at the moment, but if you could leave a detailed message, clearly stating your name, purpose of call, the exact date and time, and a method of which I can contact you, I will return your communication as soon as I am personally able.

If this is an urgent matter, please state BEFORE you state your name the nature and urgency of your situation on a scale of one to ten; One being a minor emergency, ten being the rough equivalent of a necrotitan resurfacing and wreaking havoc on--

BEEP

Functions:

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Comments

text

[knaval]

i know you didnt like that grammar joke earlier so i found some more i think you'd prefer

Re: text

[knaval]

"the past, the present and the future walked into a bar. it was tense."

Re: text

[knaval]

"a teacher once asked a student to name two pronouns

the student replied, "who, me?"

Re: text

[knaval]

"what’s the difference between a turbofox and a comma? one has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause and the end of a clause"

Re: text

[knaval]

"commas can save lives!

let's eat guys!
let's eat, guys!"

Re: text

[knaval]

"what do you say to comfort a grammar nerd?

they're, their, there"

Re: text

[knaval]

"i saw a fire door in a building that said, "this door is alarmed."

i can only assume the window was startled and the floor was mildly taken aback."

Re: text

[knaval]

"admit. it. this. took. you. longer. to. read. than. necessary."

Re: text

[knaval]

"lead rhymes with read.

lead also rhymes with read."

1/2

[onlytwoexpressions]

[He's not responding right away.]

[Because he is genuinely laughing at every single one of these. This? This right here? This is comedy! Why can't everything be this well structured and clever?]

2/2

[onlytwoexpressions]

These were excellent, Riptide.

Thank you for sending them to me.

Re: 2/2

[knaval]

no prob! i thought you'd like them
i have more if you ever want em

[onlytwoexpressions]

I would appreciate that very much.

These are incredibly clever.

[knaval]

"you can't run though a campground. you can only ran, because it's past tents."