IC INBOX AND MAILBOX FOR thissavrou

[onlytwoexpressions]

Hello. You have reached the personal comm of Ultra Magnus, Former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord. Second-in-Command of the Lost Light. I am unable to receive your communication at the moment, but if you could leave a detailed message, clearly stating your name, purpose of call, the exact date and time, and a method of which I can contact you, I will return your communication as soon as I am personally able.

If this is an urgent matter, please state BEFORE you state your name the nature and urgency of your situation on a scale of one to ten; One being a minor emergency, ten being the rough equivalent of a necrotitan resurfacing and wreaking havoc on--

BEEP

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Comments

[onlytwoexpressions]

...Because sometimes people like to be accepted for who they are.

Not what they've done.

I can relate.

[knaval]

Yeah. Do you think you could maybe talk to him about that, actually? I feel like he needs a pep talk that only you can give.

[onlytwoexpressions]

Sideswipe doesn't like me and I sincerely doubt anything I can say will actually get through to him.

He's beyond headstrong.

[knaval]

I don't think he actually properly dislikes any Autobots...

[riptide shrugs then leans over the other side of his berth.]

Anyway! Time for present! It's burning a hole in the floor!

[onlytwoexpressions]

He tried to strangle the Maximus Armor when we first met. And I'm still rather certain he doesn't want me anywhere near you.

...Riptide, that really isn't necessary.

[knaval]

Well, just know that I've tried to explain the situation to him. I think he's just a little, uh. Volatile.

[in ways riptide still doesn't understand.

anyway, there's only one way to reveal the sexy megatron pillow, and that's quickly while praying to primus for a swift end. riptide reaches down the opposite side and grabs it, holding it up.

it's a very sexy megatron pillow. nothing's on display, but the image shows him laying down and looking all sultry like.]

I-it's important that you know I didn't make this. It fell through the Ingress.

[onlytwoexpressions]

I would like to get to know him bett--... ... ...

[Magnus stares at the pillow. Then his optics slowly shift towards Riptide.]

[Then back to the pillow.]

[Slowly, as if in shock, Magnus stands and slowly heads for the door.]

[Which he quietly closes.]

[And locks.]

[knaval]

[OKAY RIPTIDE CAN'T HELP IT HE JUST ABSOLUTELY LOSES HIS SHIT

like wheezing laughing, that magnus can probably help.

to the point where it's physically painful, and he's wheezing out "ow! ow!" in between laughter.]

[onlytwoexpressions]

Riptide...

[His voice is so shaky and it's practically a whisper.]

W...Where...?

How...?

WHY???

[knaval]

[when he's done losing his shit, riptide just carefully places the pillow in front of him and crosses his legs, resting his chin on his hand.]

Have I been misreading almost every single interaction you guys have had? Serious question.

[onlytwoexpressions]

Judging by the way you write, I would imagine there is a lot to misread.

[SORRY RIPTIDE, BUT HE IS LITERALLY HUFFING IN EMBARRASSMENT RIGHT NOW.]

[You've actually managed to fluster Ultra Magnus]

[knaval]

Don't deflect! Do you want it or not! He might not ever come out that tube and we both know that armour of yours isn't warm at night!

[riptide that--]

[onlytwoexpressions]

He will come out of that tube! And you know nothing of my armor!

And neither does he! My armor is my own! No one gets in it without my permission!!

[HE'S SO FLUSTERED RIGHT NOW, RIPTIDE!!!]

[knaval]

[THAT ONLY ENCOURAGES HIM, YOU FOOL.]

Really? Okay, I believe you. [WINK] How do you think he's gonna come out?

[riptide stands up on the slab, holding out the pillow and imitating megatron's voice. pretty well, actually.]

Ultra Magnus... Mininus Ambus... I am finally free after ten thousand years! And my ass is so cold! I need your hands... on my ass!

[onlytwoexpressions]

Give! Me! That!

[Magnus swiftly grabs the pillow away from Riptide and holds it at arms length like it's a fission bomb about to go off.]

Megatron would never say something so incredibly vulgar! His command of the language impeccable and he would never make such an outlandish...lewd request! And I'll have you know that impersonating a superior officer is a very grave crime!

I am going to confiscate this...this...abomination.

[knaval]

...My... prosterior... has reached an uncomfortable temperature--! Oi!

[he reaches out for all of two seconds, then stops. a grin slowly spreads over his face.]

You didn't say you wouldn't! Do you need a cuddle that badly?

[onlytwoexpressions]

We do not talk about Megatron's posterior on this ship. Or any other for that matter!

I am so...so very...uncomfortable with all of this...! What makes you think that this is something I would...

I would...

Appreciate?!

No. No no no no. I am going to lock this away where no one will ever be able to lay optics on it again.

[knaval]

Lock it inside your armour?

[onlytwoexpressions]

Lock it inside the airlock and jettison it.

[knaval]

Oi! Someone spent a lot of time making this!

[he grabs for it back.]

You're either going to treasure it or I'm giving it to someone else!

[onlytwoexpressions]

Who else could you possibly give it to?

Who else would want it?

...

We could always see if Tarn is interested...

[knaval]

Honestly? I thought you'd take it. If you want to take it without me seeing I'll turn my back.

[onlytwoexpressions]

How in blue blazed would that change anything? When you turned back and saw it missing, the only conclusion you could possibly draw is that I took it.

This is not a locked room mystery. There is literally only one outcome.

[knaval]

Actually, you missed out one variable, detective.


I have so many painkillers inside me right now there's about a 10% chance I'll even remember this conversation.

[onlytwoexpressions]

... ... ...

Very well.

I will take this...gift.

And I will lock it away and neither of us will ever speak of it again.

Riptide, do I make myself crystal clear?