IC INBOX AND MAILBOX FOR thissavrou

[onlytwoexpressions]

Hello. You have reached the personal comm of Ultra Magnus, Former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord. Second-in-Command of the Lost Light. I am unable to receive your communication at the moment, but if you could leave a detailed message, clearly stating your name, purpose of call, the exact date and time, and a method of which I can contact you, I will return your communication as soon as I am personally able.

If this is an urgent matter, please state BEFORE you state your name the nature and urgency of your situation on a scale of one to ten; One being a minor emergency, ten being the rough equivalent of a necrotitan resurfacing and wreaking havoc on--

BEEP

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Comments

[knaval]

I'm being realistic, Magnus. If you try real hard at something and still frag it up, then you're not very good at that something, are you?

[onlytwoexpressions]

Smashing your face repeatedly into a brick wall and then proclaiming 'I'm a terrible drill' is not being realistic, Riptide. It's almost as if you set yourself up for failure so that you can declare that you irrevocably are.

[knaval]

What? I haven't been trying to prove to anyone that I'm a drill. That's a stupid metaphor.

[onlytwoexpressions]

That...

...Riptide, do you know what a 'metaphor' actually is.

[knaval]

Uhhh...

[onlytwoexpressions]

... ... ...

My point, Riptide, is that you never give yourself enough credit.

In fact...I challenge you to say something good about yourself.

Right now.

[knaval]

I'm funny!

[onlytwoexpressions]

Yes! Good!

What else?

[knaval]

[riptide raises a finger, opens his mouth.]

...

...

...

...I'm tall?

[onlytwoexpressions]

...Yes?

And?

[knaval]

I got nothin'.

[onlytwoexpressions]

Well, Sideswipe seems to like you. What are the good things he says about you?

[knaval]

That I'm big and funny.

[onlytwoexpressions]

There's nothing else that he likes?

[knaval]

I never really asked. I know he appreciates that I don't really care about certain parts of his past but I don't realise understand why you'd like anyone for not caring.

[onlytwoexpressions]

...Because sometimes people like to be accepted for who they are.

Not what they've done.

I can relate.

[knaval]

Yeah. Do you think you could maybe talk to him about that, actually? I feel like he needs a pep talk that only you can give.

[onlytwoexpressions]

Sideswipe doesn't like me and I sincerely doubt anything I can say will actually get through to him.

He's beyond headstrong.

[knaval]

I don't think he actually properly dislikes any Autobots...

[riptide shrugs then leans over the other side of his berth.]

Anyway! Time for present! It's burning a hole in the floor!

[onlytwoexpressions]

He tried to strangle the Maximus Armor when we first met. And I'm still rather certain he doesn't want me anywhere near you.

...Riptide, that really isn't necessary.

[knaval]

Well, just know that I've tried to explain the situation to him. I think he's just a little, uh. Volatile.

[in ways riptide still doesn't understand.

anyway, there's only one way to reveal the sexy megatron pillow, and that's quickly while praying to primus for a swift end. riptide reaches down the opposite side and grabs it, holding it up.

it's a very sexy megatron pillow. nothing's on display, but the image shows him laying down and looking all sultry like.]

I-it's important that you know I didn't make this. It fell through the Ingress.

[onlytwoexpressions]

I would like to get to know him bett--... ... ...

[Magnus stares at the pillow. Then his optics slowly shift towards Riptide.]

[Then back to the pillow.]

[Slowly, as if in shock, Magnus stands and slowly heads for the door.]

[Which he quietly closes.]

[And locks.]

[knaval]

[OKAY RIPTIDE CAN'T HELP IT HE JUST ABSOLUTELY LOSES HIS SHIT

like wheezing laughing, that magnus can probably help.

to the point where it's physically painful, and he's wheezing out "ow! ow!" in between laughter.]

[onlytwoexpressions]

Riptide...

[His voice is so shaky and it's practically a whisper.]

W...Where...?

How...?

WHY???

[knaval]

[when he's done losing his shit, riptide just carefully places the pillow in front of him and crosses his legs, resting his chin on his hand.]

Have I been misreading almost every single interaction you guys have had? Serious question.