IC INBOX AND MAILBOX FOR thissavrou

[onlytwoexpressions]

Hello. You have reached the personal comm of Ultra Magnus, Former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord. Second-in-Command of the Lost Light. I am unable to receive your communication at the moment, but if you could leave a detailed message, clearly stating your name, purpose of call, the exact date and time, and a method of which I can contact you, I will return your communication as soon as I am personally able.

If this is an urgent matter, please state BEFORE you state your name the nature and urgency of your situation on a scale of one to ten; One being a minor emergency, ten being the rough equivalent of a necrotitan resurfacing and wreaking havoc on--

BEEP

Functions:

Voice | Text | Video | Voicemail

Comments

text - b4 aging thing

[knaval]

tarn just payed me a visit
im apparently his best friend now

Re: text - b4 aging thing

[onlytwoexpressions]

Tarn 'paid' you a visit.

'Paid.'

I don't know what you just typed but it offended all of my senses.

Now, what's this about Tarn? What did he want?

Re: text - b4 aging thing

[knaval]

yeah that
just going on about how we're apparently comrades now and he's just using it as another excuse to hound me
can't you throw him into a sun or something?
what if he figures ou
oh
never mind actually i'd rather have him fogging up my window than figuring out you guys were involved too
disregard this

audio file/text

[wallride]

[lúcio doesn't know minimus is magnus, so the file is addressed to luigi. it's the recording he took of minimus singing at the party with music and proper audio controls added.]

FILE TRANSFER: get_down_with_your_bad_self.mp4

hey little green dude! i hope i'm sending this to the right person, but i haven't seen you around and this is what your name brings up on the directory

anyway, we were sort of influenced by crazy stuff on that planet with the bug people and you sang for me! i don't know if you remember but i thought i'd clean up the audio a bit so you can hear just how good you are, because you seemed to have doubts

- lúcio

Re: audio file/text

[onlytwoexpressions]

[Minimus is certainly flattered that this young man went to such great lengths to send this recording to him. Before he responds, he gives it a listen.]

Yes, you've reached the right person. Perhaps I neglected to introduce myself when we crossed paths on the planet. My name is Minimus Ambus.

As for the recording, thank you very much for sending me a copy. I admit, I'm a bit embarrassed to have let myself become so openly influenced, but I am glad that you found my voice to be pleasing. I do not normally sing.

On that note, I would like to commend you for the audio quality of this file. You've taken great pains to make the sound as clear as a bell. I'm quite impressed.

I also just realized that I began that sentence with 'on that note,' which I hope you find humorous, as we are currently discussing music. It wasn't intentional, as I find things of a jocular nature have a time and a place, and a written correspondence is neither, but I digress.

Re: audio file/text

[wallride]

no problem my main bean
I give you my word that no one else other than you or I have heard it, just as you requested


clear as a note on a bell, huh?
we're all musical up in here

text;

[taselikeabee]

When you get a moment, shoot me a message back.

Re: text;

[onlytwoexpressions]

Bumblebee? What can I do for you?

text;

[taselikeabee]

A question, really. What happened between you and Riptide?

text - callout post for tarn

[knaval]

tanr
angertty
gte him awsy from ship,

Re: text

[onlytwoexpressions]

Riptide, we've discussed this.

Texting while drinking is a recipe for grammatical disaster.

Do not make me confiscate your MID or manually engage your FIM chip.

Re: text

[knaval]

[for fuck's sake magnus okay the next reply is a filter]

TARN
ANGRY
GET AWAY
SHIP

text

[knaval]

so i went for a walk to get the old geers moving
and found som stuff for me in the male place
its not a body part this time dont worry
but anyway come 2 medibay i want to show you

Re: text

[onlytwoexpressions]

Riptide, need I remind you that propositioning a commanding officer is a very clear and severe breach of protocol?

I am not interested in what you found in your 'male place.'

Unless it is punctuation, because you are sorely lacking.

Re: text

[knaval]

wtf are u on about mims
i mean
MAIL WHATEVER
i'm not prop
oh my god
look NOT THAT I THOUGHT ABOUT IT but if i was gonna do that then i wouldnt text u saying hey i touched some stuff come help me ;)
omfg
i'm

text

[knaval]

i know you didnt like that grammar joke earlier so i found some more i think you'd prefer

Re: text

[knaval]

"the past, the present and the future walked into a bar. it was tense."

Re: text

[knaval]

"a teacher once asked a student to name two pronouns

the student replied, "who, me?"

Re: text

[knaval]

"what’s the difference between a turbofox and a comma? one has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause and the end of a clause"

Re: text

[knaval]

"commas can save lives!

let's eat guys!
let's eat, guys!"

Re: text

[knaval]

"what do you say to comfort a grammar nerd?

they're, their, there"

Re: text

[knaval]

"i saw a fire door in a building that said, "this door is alarmed."

i can only assume the window was startled and the floor was mildly taken aback."

Re: text

[knaval]

"admit. it. this. took. you. longer. to. read. than. necessary."

Re: text

[knaval]

"lead rhymes with read.

lead also rhymes with read."

1/2

[onlytwoexpressions]

[He's not responding right away.]

[Because he is genuinely laughing at every single one of these. This? This right here? This is comedy! Why can't everything be this well structured and clever?]